Needles

Stab your needle into my vein,

My throbbing heart won’t ever stop while your drugs inflame my soul,

With needles in every vein I have and that drip still hanging on,

The life I’ve led, the life I’ve got is also hanging on.

With a hole in my arm the size of a pin,

You let the drugs seep in,

Let them fill my blood,

And may they do me good,

For in heaven needles won’t be needed,

The needles are pointless,

They won’t penetrate my skin,

They won’t get beneath to the point where they should,

To the point that would make me, me.

 

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Hallelujah

Sing hallelujah when I am here no more,

Raise your voice and sing it load and clear,

Let the music fill everybody’s ear,

And let the world be shaken to it’s core.

Let praise roll, off the tongue of everyone,

And when night comes, Sing to the stars,

Don’t let the moon be dim in the headlights of the cars,

Sing hallelujah, let your singing stun.

Let the voices of the nightingales sing, oh, so sweetly,

But your voice should be clearer than them all,

Will you hear the voice of God and the voice of me as we, oh, so softly call,

Sing hallelujah till the dawn comes fleetly.

Point your coronets to heaven for the angels dead,

Point your horns to the devil down below,

Let the song play on, through darkest night and in the morning glow,

Sing hallelujah and remember the words I once said.

You could

There may be something you saw,

But just because you saw the event,

Doesn’t mean you know the cause,

Doesn’t mean you know why I did it all,

No one knows my reason, no one can,

But it’s there, in my heart pulsating,

It forces my blood to flow,

It forced my hand to the bottle,

It grasped onto the bottle,

It forced it down my throat,

My actions were all mine,

But why they were mine,

That is what you don’t, won’t and can’t understand,

No matter how hard you try,

No matter what you say to me,

You won’t ever know what made me do it,

You won’t ever know why I do it,

You won’t ever stop me doing it,

I shall do it until I die,

Stop me, You can’t,

Fight me, You won’t

End it, You could.

 

Let

Let the world just slip away,

Let the noose around me linger,

Let it all be over,

When the sun rises let me rise too,

Let my soul be dead forever,

And dear God let me be too.

******

Let the nights be everlasting,

Let the endless pain be gone,

Let the changes around me happen,

All I had for now is gone,

Let the noose around me linger,

Let the sunlight burn my eyes,

Let the world be gone forever,

Let the stars for once shine.

********

Let my heart beat faster,

Let my blood rush through my veins,

Let me once more see the beauty,

The beauty with no name,

Let the dark sun be my moon,

Let the bright moon be my sun,

Invert, distort my world forever,

The way that I distorted one,

Let the end be even nearer,

And if you can let it be now.

**********

Plunge

Plunge me into the deepest, darkest black,

Send my body through eternity and my soul through hell,

On the other side I need neither anymore.

Throw my down into the shadows that surround,

Push me towards that hole in the ground,

Let the grave swallow me up,

Let my body decompose,

Plunge me into darkness and shut out all light,

Allow me my freedom,

Allow me this wish,

Grant me this ending and shed this light,

Plunge me one last time into perpetual night,

Take day away from my failing sight,

Let shadows consume me and my memory be forgotten,

Let me become a part of the sun,

Shining and burning for ever.

Lost

I’ve lost it all,

Every last scrap I had,

Blown away in the wind to a place where the sun will not shine,

It’s been torn from my arms and they’re now bleeding into the sand,

And the waves lap at my ankles while my feet stand dead still,

But in my head I’m running and the wind in my hair is unreal,

The birds that fly by are the ones standing still and I’m the one on the move,

My feet may not move but my head’s hurtling into the oncoming traffic below,

On the steel of the bridge or on a stony ridge, my feet are firm,

And I may be a statue but in my head I’m diving headfirst,

And on impact I don’t cry out in pain,

And in midair I don’t scream or even exclaim,

All I do is smile as I see the inevitability of the end,

And I smile as I know I have finally let go of the edge.