My lifelong friend:

You’ve been there for years, 

Sometimes you leave me,

But you always come back,

You change and shapeshift,

But you’re my lifelong friend.

You never truly go away,

I doubt you ever truly will,

It’s not like I asked for you,

But I doubt you wanted me,

You’re still my lifelong friend.

Let me go, I really wish you would,

But you hold on to me with claws,

The moment I’m free,

The moment I break away, you’re back, 

You’re my only lifelong friend.

Depression: you hold my life in your hands,

Depression: you are my keeper,

Depression: you control everything I say and do,

Depression: you hate me yet won’t leave,

Depression: you are my lifelong friend.

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I’m a muddle I’m sinking 

It’s not so simple, it’s not so easy,

I’m a recovering mess,

So many say how they feel see it as okay,

So many say the truth while I cannot,

I stand up taller each day,

But I get pushed back everytime,

No one understands it fully,

And no one ever truly can,

It’s funny how all that you need is that one person to care,

But when that one person doesn’t exist,

When you just crave that attention,

You’ll be alone till it’s all over,

Once you have that one,

Once you’re in that place,

Everything else will be okay,

When one thing is fixed the rest will follow.

MHAW

Mental health awareness week,

Shouldn’t it last all year,

To share our pain and progress,

To let the world know what we go through,

Some talk of the friends and family they have by their sides,

Some talk of the progress and the immense strides,

No one talks of regression,

Or falling back once more,

No one talks of the pain when there is no one to turn to,

No one talks of the hurt when you’re alone,

When the support promised isn’t there,

When the pain is perpetually there,

MHAW I love you and you matter so much,

But make this more, make it better, 

Let it touch the soul of everyone who has known and knows this pain,

Let those who won’t know and never truly will know what it is to suffer like this.

Hoping, just hoping

Perpetually I am hoping,

Hoping, just hoping,

Wishing it’ll get better soon,

Hoping I’ll be okay too.

Perpetually I am hoping,

Hoping, just hoping,

That I’ll find someone who’ll care for me,

That they’ll be there and love me.

Perpetually I am hoping,

Hoping, just hoping,
That love will be mine, with sex, passion and happiness combined,

That the perfect person will find me soon,

That this lonely life will be shared by two.

Gift of God 

You’re born with it but most won’t die with it,

There’s a time in each persons life when they give it up,

To a friend, a spouse, a stranger, a lover,

And society says it’s important,

Society will make you believe only to give it to those you love,

But society is wrong,

Give this curse away, it’s no gift, 

Once it’s gone life is bright,

You’re free from society’s shackles and expectations,

They cannot stop you now, they can only make you regret,

But how can you regret what you enjoyed so much,

You have beaten society and you will again.

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The further you get,

The better you get,

The happier you feel,

The smile you share,

The embraces you give,

They can all collapse in seconds,

You’re back where you were,

You’re as bad as before,

You’re as sad as in the past,

You frown like before,

You lose contact with all,

It’s a crushing blow again.

This makes no sense

I’m sitting here, sitting here alone,

But I’ve got three of my friends here,

There’s music on and they’re chatting,

But somehow I’m alone,

Somehow I feel an immense sense of isolation,

There is no reason, there is no explanation,

All there is to it, is that inside I am alone,

There is no one can fix this,

No one can end the perpetual isolation of my soul.

The reply (A retort to A love letter to alcohol) 

I may help you forget, 

I may help you be open,

I may help you lose your fear,

I may help keep you sane, 

But I am no friend, 

I will make you remember things you long to forget,

I will make you tell people what you should not tell,

I will make you do things you’ll regret,

I will make you lose your mind in the end,

I am no friend, no lover, 

I shall do for you what I do for millions of others,

I am not your remedy,

I am not your cure,

Your mind cannot be fixed with drink.

Allow me to say;

Say it all, please be honest, 

Let’s hear every word,

Every um and ah that you’ve ever considered,

Every sound you’ve wished to make,

People say to hide your feelings,

But it’s time the world saw more,

It’s time that men can say out loud,

When they’re sad, when they’re weak,

When they’re alone, when they’re scared,

Men need the opportunity to open up,

It’s about time we could speak our minds,

A man has a mind,

The same as a woman,

But she can openly cry,

She can say what she feels,

She can rely on her friends when men can’t,

It’s not fair, it’s our world,

It’s time that we changed,

Let’s give men a chance,

Let’s not let the emotions they hold be their deaths, 

Let emotions run free,

Let tears pour,

It’s time not to say it all.