All I haven’t done 

I’ve never found beauty,

Or stared in its face.

I’ve never seen truth,  

Or found a lost star.

I’ve never known perfection, 

Or loved with no fear,

I’ve never forgotten the voice in my ear,

I’ve never gone wild or been impulsive,

I’ve never just done it and not planned ahead.

I’ve never been there when you came home to welcome you into my arms, 

I’ve never tried hard to make you smile,

I’ve never had my perfect day.

So if I die I miss out on this but at least I’ll have known what was there,

So now if I die I shall be content, to accept what hasn’t been – but now if I live I’ll live for me – now I shall live to do all I’ve never done 

Let

Let the world just slip away,

Let the noose around me linger,

Let it all be over,

When the sun rises let me rise too,

Let my soul be dead forever,

And dear God let me be too.

******

Let the nights be everlasting,

Let the endless pain be gone,

Let the changes around me happen,

All I had for now is gone,

Let the noose around me linger,

Let the sunlight burn my eyes,

Let the world be gone forever,

Let the stars for once shine.

********

Let my heart beat faster,

Let my blood rush through my veins,

Let me once more see the beauty,

The beauty with no name,

Let the dark sun be my moon,

Let the bright moon be my sun,

Invert, distort my world forever,

The way that I distorted one,

Let the end be even nearer,

And if you can let it be now.

**********

Plunge

Plunge me into the deepest, darkest black,

Send my body through eternity and my soul through hell,

On the other side I need neither anymore.

Throw my down into the shadows that surround,

Push me towards that hole in the ground,

Let the grave swallow me up,

Let my body decompose,

Plunge me into darkness and shut out all light,

Allow me my freedom,

Allow me this wish,

Grant me this ending and shed this light,

Plunge me one last time into perpetual night,

Take day away from my failing sight,

Let shadows consume me and my memory be forgotten,

Let me become a part of the sun,

Shining and burning for ever.

Who makes the decisions around here?/ Let me meet your boss.

I do things I cannot comprehend or even pretend to,

When the blades in my hands another force Spurs me on,

When the knifes cutting deep it isn’t me holding the handle.

The changes that happens aren’t my decision, 

When I make an action I’m not present,

My hands move without me, my mouth moves without me.

Everything I do isn’t done by me, innocent of all charges am I.

If it’s not me that controls me then let me know who,

Let me meet the one who believes they have power,

Let me look into the eyes of my killer.

When I break free, because I will,

I’ll be the first one on that plane,

I’ll be out of here without a care in the world,

I’ll be me finally and I’ll be free finally and the time will go by and I won’t ever cry for I shall be my own King.

Doctor

As you slit them open do you ever think about the harm you do to each and every one they knew?

As you cut through their flesh do you have an ounce of remorse for those you kill with them?

When you peel back their skin to look within do you wet see the true devestation you create?

When you look into the empty cavity within the skin do you ever see your own pain and torment within?

If you cut deep then do you feel the bones of the one you mutilate or are they just liquid in your fingers?

When their blood flows out onto the chemically sanitised floors do you feel sick?

Are you proud of the genocide you commit when everyday you tear up people and their lives?

Will you ever remove your demons so you can leave others alone?

Will you ever be free?

Will you see?

Will you?

I hope so

I’m a Gardener

My fucking fault that the garden didn’t thrive,
My fucking fault that the flowers died.
I left that garden, I walked out,
It need attention and care,
Care I could never give it.
It was barren and cold,
But I helped it grow, never flowers,
Yet now bushes of emerald grow.
A garden has to do some of the work,
A gardener can never create,
From thin air, from nothing.
Without the aid the garden gives,
Without the seeds and buds,
The garden cannot grow.
My fucking fault the gardens dying,
But it’s also my fault the garden is growing.
It also my fault the garden is trying to grow,
It is also my fault that the garden is changing.
The trees grow taller and the apples fall onto the lawn,
Once fallen they turn rotten,
They never can be eaten, they’re as bitter,
As bitter as the rest of the garden,
As bitter as the gardener who left,
As bitter as the death that gardener faced that very same day.

The fountain pen 

Laying still against the soft, white sheets,

That sickly liquid bleeds out, 

Staining everything that surrounds,

The words it once wrote are destroyed,

The life it once led is over, 

The nib is blunt and broken, 

The damage is done, 

It’s silver casing is scratched and bartered, 

The dents of time are deep,

The end of this story has started, 

The inkwell is empty and the blood has drained, 

The pages are soaked and the night is coming, 

This fountain pen has writ it’s last page, 

It’s last story, it’s last poem, it’s last play,

It’s last note now ruined,

Now illegible, once held the secrets,

Once displayed the reasons,

The reasons for death,

The death of a writer.

The American Flag

Emblem of the Americans,

Blows in the wind, 

Red stripes cover it,

As they cover me.

The emblem is emblazoned 

On me, on everyone like me,

Each of us hosts our own,

Our own personal represntaion,

Of that flag. 

Our flags do not blow in the wind,

Our flags are still and cold,

Yet our flags keep changing,

Our flag is not set in stone.

No one sees our flag, 

Our flag sees them,

And that flag can envelop anyone.

In time you can see the way,

The way to make a flag of your own,

A flag that will kill you.

Black dragon

Standing still while the world moves by,

The changes occur and nothing helps you,

You stand tall and proud while staring at the ground. 

The water pours down yet you’re not wet, 

The sun beams shine down and light up the world for everyone,

Except you.

The world is changing yet you’re standing still,

Life moves on without you, 

And you fall into the endless pit,

It has many names, each person calls it something else,

You call it your normal state of mind,

Others call it attention seeking,

But most, most call it depression.

The black heartless dragon that attacks,

Tears out your heart and crushes your soul,

Changes your life, for better, for worse,

You’ll never know.

Flower

As another flower dies, in its broken bud,

A cloud of blossom in the sky blows down from God above.

In a flower bed amongst the dead,

A bulb beneath stirs and starts.

When spring comes once more,

After the thaw another flower shall grow.

In shades of red with a strong, green stem,

With a petal round and soft,

That flower will bloom, 

Until the doom of its inevitable death.